{"id":803,"date":"2015-08-09T09:11:04","date_gmt":"2015-08-09T17:11:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/?p=803"},"modified":"2023-03-06T13:15:11","modified_gmt":"2023-03-06T21:15:11","slug":"mr-t-be-somebody","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/mr-t-be-somebody\/","title":{"rendered":"Mr. T in Be Somebody… Or Be Somebody’s Fool!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cDo you know me? Of course you do. That\u2019s because I\u2019m famous!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be Somebody\u2026 Or Be Somebody\u2019s Fool<\/em> is an educational video from 1984 in which Mr. T\u2014bouncer turned fighter turned actor turned pop-culture icon\u2014provides kids with a series of life lessons. It was directed by Jeff Margolis, best known as a prolific director of awards shows; over the years, Margolis has won an Emmy and two DGA Awards for directing the Academy Awards, which is a nifty fact to have on hand if you ever find yourself trying to make the case that Hollywood can be, at times, just a tad insular and self-congratulatory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a fascinating cultural artifact (which, fun fact, was brilliantly parodied<\/a> on an episode of Key & Peele<\/em>). Despite being almost an hour long (and currently only available via\u00a0muddy VHS copies<\/a> that various kind souls have uploaded to YouTube),\u00a0Be Somebody\u2026 Or Be Somebody\u2019s Fool<\/em>\u00a0is compulsively watchable, mostly due to the goofball charisma of its star. Mr. T expanded his fame by deftly exploiting the dichotomy between his outsized persona\u2014his musclebound physique, his mohawk hairdo, his pounds of jewelry\u2014and his sunny, softhearted nature; here, the latter serves him well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The show is segmented into individual lessons on a number of topics, ranging from the prosaic (get plenty of exercise, resist peer pressure) to the less expected (learn how to rebound from public embarrassment, get in touch with your roots, express yourself through rapping and breakdancing). Let\u2019s breeze through a few highlights:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T on Shyness:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

A small child stammers and mutters her way through a commercial about shyness while the jackhole director berates her for, yep, being too shy. He angrily dismisses her from the set. Because I\u2019m a cranky old adult, I can see the director\u2019s point. Nobody should snap at kids, but seriously, if someone hires you to film a commercial, at a bare minimum you should be expected to deliver your lines loudly and clearly. His abuse sparks a fire in the shy kid: \u201cI was asked to do this commercial about shyness, and I\u2019m going to finish it!\u201d she bellows at him before rattling off her lines like a pro and storming off the set, while Mr. T beams from the sidelines like a proud father. Well, good for her, I suppose. Most kids don\u2019t need lessons in how to mouth off to adults, but for those who do, I\u2019m glad Mr. T has their backs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T on Roots:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Mr. T lectures a group of kids on the importance of knowing where you came from: \u201cI was born in Chicago, and these boots I wear are the same boots my father used to wear, and they remind me of home. But long before that, my folks come from Africa, and they was from the Mandinka tribe, and they wore their hair like this.\u201d He points to his signature mohawk. \u201cAnd these gold chains I wear, they symbolize the fact that my ancestors were brought over here as slaves. You all have different roots!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boom! Drop the mic, exit stage left. When Mr. T talks about his roots, he talks about his roots<\/em>. It\u2019d sure be tough to follow his act, huh? One of the kids gamely tries, spilling out her own origin story: \u201cI was born in L.A. And my dad was born here, too. But my dad\u2019s dad wasn\u2019t born here. He was born in Sacramento.\u201d This is where Mr. T\u2019s soft side comes out, because instead of scoffing and saying whatever the 1984 equivalent of \u201ccool story, bro\u201d was, he beams and nods and exclaims, \u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m saying!\u201d Then the kids link arms and burst into a song about loving each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look closely at that crowd of singing kids, because there are a couple of future stars in that batch. Like Martika here:<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Yeah, that\u2019s Marta Marrero, better known as the pop star Martika, who had a monster hit in 1989 with \u201cToy Soldiers.\u201d And look at this wee blonde child:<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

That\u2019s Stacy Ferguson, better known as Fergie, member of the Black-Eyed Peas and a platinum-selling solo artist. At this time, Fergie and Martika were starring together in the music-themed children\u2019s show\u00a0Kids Incorporated<\/em>\u00a0(a third costar, Jerry Sharell, is also singing his little heart out in this group of kids here, so obviously some weird\u00a0Kids Incorporated<\/em>\/Be Somebody<\/em>\u00a0synergistic thing was going on). If\u00a0Kids Incorporated<\/em>\u00a0has somehow never crossed your radar, and if you have a finely-honed appreciation of vintage eighties kitsch (which, if you\u2019ve read this far, you almost certainly do), get thee to YouTube, posthaste. I\u2019ll even link you to a video to jump-start your journey down the rabbit hole: Here are Martika and Fergie and their\u00a0Kids Incorporated<\/em>\u00a0peers, cheerfully draining every hint of sex and menace and danger from Dead or Alive\u2019s 1984 dance hit\u00a0\u201cYou Spin Me Round (Like a Record).\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T on Style:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Fashion tips from Mr. T! Excellent. He scoffs at designer labels: \u201cWould Calvin Klein or Bill Blass or Gloria Vanderbilt wear clothes with your name on it? No! Of course not!\u201d I was hoping he\u2019d finish this up with \u201c\u2026because, unlike those aforementioned design legends, you\u2019re just a dumb kid who hasn\u2019t had years of training and experience in the fashion industry\u201d, but no such luck. Instead, he veers in another direction: \u201cSo tape over the label, and wear your own name.\u201d Well, that\u2019s one approach. There\u2019s a high-spirited fashion show in which kids model various eighties-appropriate (read: bizarre as all hell) getups. Mr. T describes model Martika as, \u201cOur subway sweetheart, taking the A-train to fashion. With her mustard socks and ketchup sash, she\u2019s a real hot dog!\u201d And somewhere out there, Anna Wintour feels a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Mr. T on Peer Pressure:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Five kids scavenge an unopened can of Budweiser and a couple of cigarettes out of a trash can on the beach and begin to party. One kid refuses to participate in their lawless shenanigans and is resoundingly mocked.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

In the background, Bobby Brown and the rest of New Edition sing a lively tune about avoiding peer pressure. Look, if Bobby Brown tells you to do something, even in song, it\u2019s probably a good idea to do the opposite, just on general principle.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Mr. T on Recouping:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T, who is inexplicably dressed as a surgeon, gives a lesson on rebounding gracefully from humiliating situations. His example: If you make an embarrassing pratfall in public, turn it into an impromptu breakdancing routine. This is excellent advice, and I intend to follow it the very next time I fall on my ass on the subway stairs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T on Creating:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

More breakdancing! A cluster of talented kids flaunt their skills. A cute girl teaches Mr. T how to pop and lock. It\u2019s actually very cool to see Mr. T taking a bold pro-breakdancing stance, since I remember most adults in 1984 being\u00a0terribly worried<\/em>\u00a0we\u2019d all break our necks and die from headspinning, as in that (totally false, obviously)\u00a0urban legend<\/a> about what happened to poor Alfonso Ribeiro while filming his Pepsi commercial with Michael Jackson.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Mr. T on Treating Your Mother Right:<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

As near as I can tell, this lesson boils down to this: Don\u2019t tell \u201cyo mama\u201d jokes. Because, as Mr. T puts it, \u201cWhen you put down one mother, you\u2019re putting down mothers all over the world.\u201d Then he raps for a while about the awesomeness of moms. You know who wrote his rap? Ice T. No, really, he did. I know it sounds like I\u2019m trying to make some lame and belabored Mr. T\/Ice T joke, but I\u2019m dead serious: Ice T wrote this rap. Sample lyric: \u201cT is for the time when she stayed up nights\/And took my temperature when I wasn\u2019t feeling right.\u201d Outstanding.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Mr. T on Working Out:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T harasses a bunch of kids just patiently waiting at a city bus stop. He chides them for sitting around eating potato chips (\u2026and waiting for their bus<\/em>) when they could be getting some exercise instead. He waves away all their excuses: \u201cYou don\u2019t need no fancy gym and pay all that money! This is a gym right here!\u201d Then he teaches them how to clean and jerk a boombox.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

This segues into a lengthy exercise montage. A rousing anthem about burning and getting wet plays in the background, which scandalized me for a moment, until I realized the lyrics were probably referring to fitness<\/em>. My bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T on Rapping:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T raps to a bunch of kids: \u201cStop being so depressed, cheer up, don\u2019t be sad\/ \u2018Cause they ain\u2019t dropped the bomb, so it ain\u2019t that bad.\u201d Ah, yes, I remember the unique stresses of being a kid in Cold War-era America. Has anyone nuked you yet? No? Then stop complaining, you\u2019re fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T on Friendship:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Actress Valerie Landsburg\u2014Doris\u00a0on TV\u2019s\u00a0Fame<\/em>\u2014walks barefoot on the beach while singing a very long song about friendship. Landsburg is a powerhouse singer (and\u00a0Doris\u00a0was always my favorite), but the song\u2019s a drag. <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Mr<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Mr. T on Storytelling:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Mr. T regales a bunch of kids with stories about his rough-and-tumble childhood on the gang-ridden streets of inner-city Chicago. It gradually becomes apparent he\u2019s just rehashing the plot of Romeo and Juliet<\/em>, and\u2014twist!\u2014the segment turns into a lesson about how reading is awesome. The kids don\u2019t seem disappointed, but I am. Look, I\u2019ve already read Romeo and Juliet<\/em>. I want to hear more about the tough Chicago gangs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s pretty much it. Mr. T wraps it up with some closing comments, finishing with, \u201cI\u2019ll be there whenever you push the rewind button.\u201d I\u2019m counting on it, Mr. T.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cDo you know me? Of course you do. That\u2019s because I\u2019m famous!\u201d Be Somebody\u2026 Or Be Somebody\u2019s Fool is an educational video from 1984 in which Mr. T\u2014bouncer turned […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":804,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-eighties"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=803"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1556,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803\/revisions\/1556"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=803"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=803"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=803"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}