{"id":568,"date":"2013-04-06T14:04:00","date_gmt":"2013-04-06T22:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/?p=568"},"modified":"2023-03-07T12:28:55","modified_gmt":"2023-03-07T20:28:55","slug":"duranalysis-neil-gaiman-duran-duran","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/duranalysis-neil-gaiman-duran-duran\/","title":{"rendered":"Duranalysis: Neil Gaiman’s Duran Duran"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Back in 1984, at the start of his career, Neil Gaiman\u2014the best-selling, award-winning, widely-acclaimed author of Coraline<\/em>, Stardust<\/em>, the Sandman<\/em> comics, etcetera\u2014wrote a book titled Duran Duran: The First Four Years of the Fab Five<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naturally, I had to get my hands on a copy. This sounded important<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These days, the book is a sought-after collector\u2019s item. The publisher only did a single print run before going bankrupt, and Gaiman has resisted offers to get it back into print. (His feelings on the project seem somewhat less than positive:\u00a0In an interview with\u00a0January<\/em>\u00a0magazine<\/a>, he stated, \u201cI spent several months writing a book that I wouldn\u2019t have wanted to read.\u201d)\u00a0The book could\u2019ve used some judicious editing, as it\u2019s riddled with typos throughout (to the best of my knowledge, Duran Duran never released a song titled \u201cHungry Like\u00a0a<\/em>\u00a0Wolf\u201d), but small stuff aside, you know what? It\u2019s\u00a0good<\/em>. Dry, witty, and insightful, it features a comprehensive biography of each band member, plus thoughtful reviews of each song and video, padded out with general observations about the societal influences in England in the seventies and eighties (sample sentence: \u201cTo understand Duran Duran, one must understand the scenes and the pendulum swings in the Britain from which they emerged\u201d). The book is short\u2014only 126 pages, and maybe half of those are devoted to glossy photos of the boys\u2014but it\u2019s got some heft.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m going to jump right past all the insights and heft, though, and focus on the frivolous, gossipy stuff, because that\u2019s the way I roll. Here we go:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neil Gaiman on Simon Le Bon:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cHe has mentioned in interviews that he believes in fairies, goblins and \u2018the magic of Nature. I know there\u2019s a lot more to it than anybody dreams of.\u2019 (As he told the\u00a0Sunday Mirro<\/em>r paper, in an article they headlined Secrets of Sexy Simon, accompanied by a photo of Simon bared to the torso and brooding magnificently.) His lyrics to\u00a0The Reflex<\/em>\u00a0are apparently about a \u2018little friend.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah, yes, fairies and goblins. While it\u2019s probably best not to take anything Simon says at face value, ever, his explanation about \u201cThe Reflex\u201d is in no way incompatible with\u00a0Andy Taylor\u2019s pet theory<\/a>\u00a0that the lyrics are actually about Nick Rhodes. In turn, this lends credence to my own pet theory that Nick is some kind of bizarre magical creature\u2014fairy or goblin, who can say\u2014who\u2019s been living amongst humans in the guise of a dainty and glamorous pop icon for the past thirty years, waiting for the right moment to carry out some unknown but almost certainly malevolent scheme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On John Taylor:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cHis fascination with James Bond borders on obsession\u2014he possesses a complete set of Bond videos, which he watches and rewatches, drives an Aston Martin (gold, DB5), the car that Sean Connery drove in Goldfinger<\/em>. His current long-term girlfriend, Janine Andrews, appeared in the Bond film Octopussy<\/em>. He has confessed to a desire to play Bond. \u2026 He has often regretted that he became famous too late to date a Charlie\u2019s Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

John Taylor is a once-in-a-lifetime beauty who has charisma and stage presence oozing out of his flawless pores. That said, he would have made a downright awful Bond. Despite all that charm and bone structure, despite being intelligent, articulate, and insanely<\/em> photogenic, he turns into a sleepy-eyed, somnambulant void whenever film cameras are turned on him. Granted, he wasn\u2019t always given the strongest material in his acting career\u2014it\u2019s not like audiences expected him to perform miracles with A Diva\u2019s Christmas Carol <\/em>or The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas<\/em> (note: he did not perform miracles with either)\u2014but surely he could have brought a little more verve and zest to his substantial role in Allison Anders\u2019s Sugar Town<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Age difference notwithstanding, I\u2019m reasonably certain John could have dated one of Charlie\u2019s Angels, if he\u2019d really set his mind to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On Nick Rhodes:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cAn observer of life, rather than a participant, he is fond of strawberries and champagne for breakfast \u2026 He\u2019s a night-bird, a \u2018non-sun worshipper\u2019, happiest messing about in studios. He is often considered to be the brains or the ideas man behind Duran Duran\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a strange yet wonderful moment in the development of any Duran fan when the realization dawns that Nick\u2014dazzling, beautiful, high-maintenance Nick, Nick of the champagne breakfasts and the refusal to get out of bed until midday, Nick of the bored, drawling speaking voice, Nick of the hilariously over-the-top reactions to any affront to his aesthetic sensibilities (flashback to his tirade about the stage lighting in\u00a0Sing Blue Silver<\/a><\/em>: \u201cTerrible. Horrible. Vile!\u201d), Nick of the heavy makeup and the huge fluffy hairstyles and the flouncy ruffled blouses\u2014really\u00a0is<\/em>\u00a0the brainy one in this bunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On Roger Taylor:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cHe is not tall, with a muscular physique: the strong silent type. It has been said that is [sic] is almost impossible to get into an argument with him\u2014he\u2019s too placid and easy-going. It is ironic, then, that Roger was involved in the worst bit of trouble of any member of the band, when he was attacked by a gang in a Munich disco and wound up in hospital with stitches and concussion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yikes. Both John and Andy,\u00a0in their respective memoirs<\/a>, also discuss at some length the incident in which bat-wielding assailants ambushed Roger in a nightclub. It\u2019s shocking, especially since Roger always seems so\u00a0gentle<\/em>. Then again, there\u2019s a passage in Steve Malins\u2019s\u00a0Duran Duran Notorious: The Unauthorised Biography<\/em>\u00a0in which Andy Wickett, who was briefly Duran\u2019s lead singer in the pre-Simon days, recounts an early gig at Birmingham University that got out of hand when the rugby club started hurling plates and ashtrays at the band: \u201cThese guys were coming for us, and the next minute Roger got up and hit someone with his cymbal.\u201d This gives added nuance to that part in\u00a0the 2004 \u201cCareless Memories\u201d anime video\u00a0where Roger slaughters a pair of gun-toting ninjas by embedding his cymbals in their skulls. Never knew you had it in you, Roger.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Also, \u201cHe is not tall\u201d may be the best phrase in Gaiman\u2019s entire book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On Andy Taylor:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cHis early nickname within the band was \u2018Sniffer\u2019, for reasons we can only guess at.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On second thought, that\u2019s<\/em> the best phrase in Gaiman\u2019s entire book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On Duran Duran\u2019s videos:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Gaiman analyzes Duran\u2019s videos individually, much as I\u2019ve done with\u00a0my prior\u00a0Duranalyses, though he spends less time waxing philosophic on John\u2019s cheekbones. We\u2019re also usually not on the same page with our opinions. He calls the \u201cCareless Memories\u201d video \u201cfar more adult and confident\u201d than \u201cPlanet Earth<\/a>,\u201d which he believes is \u201cthe weakest of Duran Duran\u2019s videos,\u201d whereas the best I could say about \u201cCareless Memories\u201d is that it \u201cisn\u2019t wretched<\/a>.\u201d He describes the \u201cLonely in Your Nightmare\u201d video as \u201can excellent film, manipulating the various images\u2014the sleeping beauty, the watcher at the window\u2014with confidence and dexterity\u201d; I called it \u201cunwatchable<\/a>.\u201d He thinks\u00a0the iconic \u201cRio\u201d video<\/a>\u00a0is \u201camateurish,\u201d which treads damn close to blasphemy in my book.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

We\u2019re in agreement that\u00a0\u201cNight Boat\u201d is pretty badass<\/a>, though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On \u201cHold Back the Rain\u201d:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA stuttering synthesiser segues into a ballsy guitar intro, and Simon Le Bon sings a love song. Will she come back and help him to hold back the rain? The song is dated 19 March 1982; was this a specific incident? A specific person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Funny you should ask, Mr. Gaiman, and it\u2019s not a love song, at least not in a traditional sense. In the 2000 BBC documentary Wild Boys: The Story of Duran Duran<\/em>, Simon claims he meant the lyrics of \u201cHold Back the Rain\u201d (\u201cAnd if the fires burn out, there\u2019s only fire to blame\u2026\u201d<\/em>) to serve as words of caution for John, who was already in the clutches of the vices\u2014drugs, booze, sex\u2014that dogged him throughout Duran\u2019s early years. Says Simon, \u201cThe night I wrote it, I slipped a copy under his door. He\u2019s never mentioned it to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the band\u2019s performance for Princess Diana:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey had just returned from the recording studios, were under-rehearsed, nervous, and working with unfamiliar equipment; during the first number a drum pedal broke, a guitar string snapped, and a thrown box of chocolates knocked the bass guitar badly out of tune. It was a fiasco. Princess Diana was not amused (neither were the band) and she and Prince Charles left for the bar ten minutes before the end, only returning for Dire Straits (fresh from a recent tour, familiar with their equipment and the songs) who she was seen to enjoy. Whether it was the screaming of the fans, the poor quality sound, or something else, it seemed obvious to the press that the Princess preferred Dire Straits.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Much has been written already about Duran Duran\u2019s association with Princess Diana, so let\u2019s take another path: In\u00a0Rolling Stone<\/em>\u00a0journalist Rob Sheffield\u2019s book\u00a0Talking to Girls About Duran Duran<\/em>, he writes,\u201cSweatband-wearing rock prudes Dire Straits rustled up a huge hit called \u2018Money for Nothing,\u2019 raging against [Duran Duran].\u201d Huh. Interesting! There\u2019s no consensus as to whether the vicious, venomous lyrics of \u201cMoney for Nothing,\u201d which are told from the perspective of blue-collar workers sniping about the pampered lives of rock stars, are specifically about Duran Duran (for what it\u2019s worth,\u00a0Nikki Sixx claims the lyrics are about Motley Crue<\/a>), but there\u2019s evidence to support Sheffield\u2019s theory. Just look at\u00a0the original, unedited video: During the verse that tends to get snipped out of the song and video these days due to repeated use of an anti-gay slur (the verse about the earrings and the makeup and jet airplanes\u2026 if you know the song, you know the verse), the television set onscreen is tuned to MTV, which is airing a (fake) video from a (fake) band that looks suspiciously Durannish:<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

(It\u2019s also hard not to listen to the lyric \u201cmaybe get a blister on your little finger, maybe get a blister on your thumb<\/em>\u201d without thinking of the part in\u00a0Sing Blue Silver<\/em>\u00a0where Andy compares blisters with a distraught and exhausted Roger in the back of a limo after a concert. I\u2019m not convinced of the likelihood of Dire Straits having watched\u00a0Sing Blue Silver<\/em>\u00a0before penning \u201cMoney for Nothing,\u201d but it\u2019s an interesting thought.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On Duran Duran\u2019s views on women and gender roles:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTheir viewpoint on the matter seemed to be that men were men and women were women, with fairly clearly defined roles. As Andy put it, after his marriage, \u2018My wife\u2019s a better cook than I am\u2014but she doesn\u2019t play very good guitar. Gentlemen should be bold and open doors for women. I wouldn\u2019t want a lady opening a door for me. If every man looked after one woman everything would be fine.\u2019 Nick Rhodes went a little further: \u2018The thought of something like a woman fireman is very silly. I believe women should be paid the same for doing the same jobs as men, but there again, I\u2019d still much rather women be feminine.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, for fuck\u2019s sake, Nick and Andy. Really? Go sit in a corner, you two.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

I could fume about this, but instead I think I\u2019m going to sit back and quietly marvel at the cognitive dissonance required for Nick Rhodes<\/em> to get all snotty and dismissive at the idea of anyone venturing outside the arbitrary boundaries of established gender roles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On rumors about the band\u2014spurious, scurrilous and otherwise:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Gaiman devotes a chunk of words to sorting through all the dirt Duran Duran\u2019s former bodyguard Al Beard spilled to The Sun<\/em> in April of 1984 in a three-part expos\u00e9 (Part One: \u201cI Saw Duran Duran Go Crazy On Coke! They Need It To Perform They Need It To Relax Says Ex Minder.\u201d Part Two: \u201cHere Are The Girls You Ordered, Said The Posh Porter.\u201d Part Three: \u201cSpoilt Little Rich Kids! I Saw Them Change, Says Ex-Minder\u201d). By Beard\u2019s account, all the Durans were coke-addled (except for Roger), slutty (except for Roger), and monstrous (except for Roger). Beard also makes a few jabs at Simon\u2019s weight and Andy\u2019s stamina (per Beard, Andy was \u201cvery good at chatting up girls but he didn\u2019t spend very long with them. It would all be over in three or four minutes\u201d), then tosses in some idle speculation on Nick\u2019s sexual orientation (\u201cWe all watched Nick Rhodes closely because we weren\u2019t sure whether he was gay or not.[Duran manager] Paul Berrow once said to me \u201cI don\u2019t know if Nick knows either\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of these rumors, Gaiman notes, accurately, that \u201cfor the rock business, it was all rather tame,\u201d and points out, \u201cThe Sun<\/em> articles can be taken with a large pinch of salt. Even so, much of it (and more, none of which shall be gone into here) had been admitted or implied by the band in earlier interviews or articles, or had been gossiped in London club-land.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Neil<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cNone of which shall be gone into here\u201d<\/em>? Mr. Gaiman, it\u2019s not nice to tease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m making a mental note to open an Etsy boutique featuring novelty t-shirts emblazoned with \u201cI Saw Duran Duran Go Crazy On Coke!\u201d Actually, all these vaguely-sordid allegations remind me of my idea for another<\/em> Duran-based business enterprise: I have this cherished dream of creating a glitzy, tacky, inappropriate-for-all-ages cartoon series featuring 1980s-era Duran Duran as glamorous, dissolute superheroes who fly around in their private jet, surrounded by topless women, sniffing glittery lines of pixie dust and going on wild, magical adventures in between sold-out gigs. On the spectrum of animated awesomeness, it\u2019d fall somewhere between Heavy Metal <\/em>and Jem and the Holograms<\/em>. I\u2019m pretty sure<\/em> I could talk Nick into granting me permission to go ahead with this, as long as I promise his character would be drawn to look younger and prettier than the other Durans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So that\u2019s the book. Plenty of good stuff, and certainly nothing that should unduly haunt Neil Gaiman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back in 1984, at the start of his career, Neil Gaiman\u2014the best-selling, award-winning, widely-acclaimed author of Coraline, Stardust, the Sandman comics, etcetera\u2014wrote a book titled Duran Duran: The First Four Years of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":580,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-duran-duran"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=568"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1587,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568\/revisions\/1587"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}