{"id":470,"date":"2012-02-10T07:35:15","date_gmt":"2012-02-10T15:35:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/?p=470"},"modified":"2023-03-09T14:14:58","modified_gmt":"2023-03-09T22:14:58","slug":"duranalysis-duran-duran-arena-absurd-notion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/duranalysis-duran-duran-arena-absurd-notion\/","title":{"rendered":"Duranalysis: Arena (An Absurd Notion)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

For the past, oh, several months, I\u2019ve been loosely planning on doing one of my Duranalysis thingymabobs on Arena (An Absurd Notion)<\/em>, Duran Duran\u2019s 1984 Russell Mulcahy-directed science fiction-themed concert film. On the surface, it would seem tailor-made for a Duranalysis, due to all the Duran-centric weirdness flying about, but I\u2019ve never quite managed to whip up the necessary enthusiasm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s Arena<\/em> in a nutshell: Footage of the boys performing in concert is interspersed with a bizarre narrative in which Milo O\u2019Shea gamely reprises his role as the band\u2019s namesake, the evil intergalactic scientist Durand Durand from the 1968 cult classic Barbarella<\/em>. In Arena<\/em>, Durand Durand arrives on Earth and, with the aid of his requisite coterie of mutant dwarf minions, schemes to wreak terrible vengeance on the boys for stealing his name.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Amongst other nonsense, one of these aforementioned schemes involves capturing a cluster of lingerie-clad roller-derby dolls and dangling them over tanks filled with vicious mutant creatures.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Meanwhile, in a wholly unrelated plotline, a couple of cyborgs get it on in a pool of green goop.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Clearly there\u2019s a lot of interesting stuff here. Please note: \u201cinteresting\u201d is not a synonym for \u201cgood.\u201d While sometimes awesome, Arena<\/em> is also sometimes terrible, or incomprehensible, or tedious, or some combination of the above. Surely, though, I should be able to scrap together a Duranalysis from all of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the problem: In Arena<\/em> the Durans themselves only* appear in the concert footage and in the extended version of the \u201cWild Boys<\/a>\u201d video, which leaves us with vast Duran-free stretches. At no point do the boys ever interact with Durand Durand or his minions (Durand\u2019s nefarious plans are eventually thwarted by a spunky group of fans), and that\u2019s no good for my purposes. Look, if I couldn\u2019t be bothered to do a Duranalysis of the stylish, sexy video for \u201cThe Chauffer\u201d due to its lack of Durans, why would I willingly wade into the murky waters of Arena<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Notable exception: The exquisite John Taylor appears in one brief additional scene, in which he takes a mid-concert break to slurp down a Heineken and leer at a cute fan whilst looking sweaty and extra-smoldering. This is unquestionably Arena<\/em>\u2019s finest moment.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

So here\u2019s a compromise: This Duranalysis will focus on \u201cThe Making of Arena<\/em>\u201d, the hour-long featurette included as a bonus feature on the Arena<\/em> DVD<\/a>, which is comprised of a bunch of cool behind-the-scenes footage padded out with interviews with the boys. First up is this impossibly gorgeous, glamorous, ludicrous creature:<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Hi, Nick Rhodes! You\u2019re looking especially glossy and fabulous today. Hey, what\u2019s in your glass? Lychees? Small boiled onions? Pickled baby heads? (Could be just ice cubes, I suppose, but since we\u2019re talking about Nick, I prefer to imagine it\u2019s something weird and exotic and vaguely off-putting.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nick launches into a lecture about the process of filming their performances during the Sing Blue Silver<\/a> tour, which later became the backbone of Arena<\/em>. Nick\u2019s a sharp cookie and he knows his stuff\u2014he manages to work \u201cLouma crane\u201d seamlessly into a sentence, and you can\u2019t say the same for just any pop star\u2014but no matter how many times I watch this, my attention drifts away from whatever he\u2019s going on about. This is partly because of his languid, sleepy speaking voice (if you\u2019ve never heard Nick speak, think \u201cspoiled English schoolboy\u201d and you\u2019ll just about have it), and partly because\u2026 I mean, just look at him. He\u2019s so shimmery<\/em>. It\u2019s hard to focus on anything else.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Most of this featurette is devoted specifically to the making of the epic \u201cWild Boys\u201d video, which is the clear showpiece of Arena<\/em>. Simon Le Bon discusses the genesis of the idea for the video:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI remember sitting on a boat in the middle of the Mediterranean\u2026\u201d\u2014you know, probably a good 25% of Simon\u2019s recollections start out this exact same way. \u201cIt occurred to us\u2014I don\u2019t know if this was myself or Russell first\u2014that it\u2019d be good if the band were seen in danger, in jeopardy, and also in pain, as a kind of metaphor to being in a band and forced to perform. So there\u2019s somebody maybe, say, in bondage, but being forced to perform.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Performing in bondage. Good start. I\u2019m totally with you thus far, Simon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is that painting on the wall behind Simon awesome or ghastly? Discuss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a lot of footage of Simon on the set of \u201cWild Boys,\u201d with particular attention paid to the sequence where he\u2019s strapped to that ramshackle windmill, his head dunking into the lagoon upon every rotation. Even though the whole contraption looks rickety as hell, Simon is a trooper. He raises one cautionary flag\u2014\u201cI\u2019m worried about my feet coming off the bar. Could actually strangle myself\u201d\u2014then cheerfully allows his head to be submerged in the water, again and again and again.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Ah, yes. Here we are. We\u2019ve reached the whole hilarious drama with Nick\u2019s \u201cWild Boys\u201d costume, and yes, I\u2019ve already linked to this segment<\/a> before, but that\u2019s because it\u2019s just the most awesome thing ever, that\u2019s all. So Nick goes to check on his costume, and instead of a cool head-to-toe leather ensemble like the ones sported by his fellow Durans, he\u2019s presented with a ratty felt cape that looks like something the wolf barfed up after he ate Red Riding Hood.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

This doesn\u2019t go over terribly well with the glittery Crown Prince of Awesomeness. Being a chipper and resourceful little pixie, he plops himself down on the floor of the workroom and starts gluing a bunch of sparkly crap all over a leather jacket (\u201cHow many more jewels can one possibly fit on one collar?\u201d), fashioning himself a new costume. Of his handiwork, he chirps happily, \u201cIt\u2019s actually a camp Mad Max<\/em>.\u201d Only Nick could make that claim and: a) be deadly serious, b) be totally accurate, and c) intend it as the highest possible compliment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s no clear shot of Nick\u2019s modified ensemble in the finished \u201cWild Boys\u201d video, so let\u2019s take a look at a publicity photo to get the full effect:<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Awesome. Nicely done, Mr. Rhodes. You\u2019re the prettiest post-apocalyptic warrior of them all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Much of the \u201cMaking of Arena<\/em>\u201d featurette is devoted to footage of the dancers from Duran Duran\u2019s \u201cWild Boys\u201d video rehearsing their routines. While this section is a little short on Durans, I have no real complaints. Toned, pantsless men who do high kicks and front flips are always fun to watch.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

This poor young dancer was caught on camera at this unfortunate midpoint of his makeup job:<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

The featurette goes into some detail on the robotics required to move the disembodied animatronic head in \u201cWild Boys.\u201d Many of the visual effects in Arena<\/em> haven\u2019t fared well over time, but that head? Highly effective. Still creepy as hell.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Unconfirmed, but almost certainly true: That head is very likely a prop left over from the set of the 1985 sci-fi film Lifeforce<\/em>, which, like Arena<\/em>, was filmed at Pinewood Studios. Lifeforce<\/em> was directed by Russell Mulcahy’s friend Tobe Hooper; Mulcahy visited the Lifeforce<\/em> set during filming, which took place shortly before filming began on Arena<\/em>. In addition, prosthetic makeup artist Nick Maley worked on both projects, and it seems probable the same prosthetic head served double duty for both Lifeforce<\/em> and Arena<\/em>. That prosthetic head is a replica of the head of one of the stars of Lifeforce<\/em>, Patrick Stewart.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

So, yes. Almost beyond a reasonable doubt, the creepy prosthetic head in Arena and the “Wild Boys” video is that of Starfleet captain Jean-Luc Picard.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

If \u201cThe Making of Arena<\/em>\u201d has a flaw, it\u2019s that it\u2019s sadly short on footage of beautiful John Taylor, who doesn\u2019t appear in any of the interview segments. We\u2019ll have to content ourselves with his one big moment here: John, who has dialed his personal skeeze factor straight up to eleven, describes his upcoming \u201cWild Boys\u201d scene to an unidentified woman standing off-camera: \u201cI\u2019m chained to that Mercedes, being flashed with images of naked women and other things I love in life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Naked women? Really, John? While that scene in \u201cWild Boys\u201d where John writhes around in chains is seared into my memory, I sure don\u2019t remember him being forced to look at images of naked women. Let\u2019s take a quick look back at the video to confirm:<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

I think Russell Mulcahy pulled a fast one on you, John.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey, remember how Andy Taylor pretty much stole the whole show in the Sing Blue Silver<\/em> tour documentary? Remember how bright-eyed and cheeky and full of personality he was back then?<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Here\u2019s Andy being interviewed for the \u201cThe Making of Arena<\/em>\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Rough year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the \u201cWild Boys\u201d set, Andy gets strapped into a harness up in the scaffolding of the underground fortress. He rhapsodizes about the experience: \u201cI wore jeans! I\u2019ve never worn denims in my life in anything to do with Duran Duran. I think it\u2019s one of the rules we made, you know, no one wears jeans.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

He seems pretty stoked about this relatively small event, but if you put it into the proper context, you can see this was kind of a big deal. Here\u2019s their former manager Paul Berrow, as quoted in Steve Malins\u2019s Duran Duran Notorious: The Unauthorised Biography<\/em>, talking about Andy\u2019s initial audition: \u201cHe was in jeans, more early 1970s rock I suppose, not the glam rock side of it. There were doubts, I think Andy knows that. Nick in particular was thinking, \u2018Oh, God.\u2019 He\u2019s a bit of a snob when it comes to rock. Nick\u2019s not rock at all and the wit was streaming out of him on the issue of what Andy was wearing.\u201d Combine that with this quote from Roger Taylor in a 2011 interview with Paper Magazine: \u201cAlthough Andy did join the group with a pair of dungarees on, we soon dealt with that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey, Nick and Roger? I\u2019m feeling kind of Team Andy on this one. Wearing jeans appears to be really, really important to him. Just look at how happy he seems, bound up there in the scaffolding. Maybe if you\u2019d relaxed your fervent anti-denim stance a notch, Andy wouldn\u2019t have quit the band, twice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking of Roger, here he is, talking about filming the part in \u201cWild Boys\u201d where he dangles from his own little jet-powered hot-air balloon: \u201cIt felt quite dangerous when we were doing it, but I\u2019m sure it was very safe. When I was first in the balloon thing, people kept reassuring me that it was actually very safe, it was sort of hanging from wires from the ceiling. On the other hand, as much as people assure you, you always sort of have those doubts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

In his interview segments, Roger appears very sweet and sensible, posing in a clean, sunny room with flowers in the window, flashing his new wedding band while looking wholesome and sane. Within months of this, Roger would walk away from the madness and mayhem of Duran Duran to lead a quiet, reclusive life in the English countryside, where nobody would ever dangle him from a jet-powered hot-air balloon again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout Arena<\/em>, Durand Durand hobbles precariously around an underground fortress on tall stilts connected to his legs and arms. And then someone jumps on his back. And then he gets set on fire. Both of these stunts go horribly, predictably wrong, leading to: a) injured stunt people, and b) total validation of Roger\u2019s quiet doubts about the safety of all this.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Let\u2019s give Simon the last word:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t say the project turned out as I had imagined it would turn out. What we\u2019ve got is something very, very different\u2026 But it doesn\u2019t mean that\u2026 (pause) I\u2019m not\u2026 (pause) proud<\/em> of it, because it\u2019s something very special.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

He almost sounds like he means it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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