{"id":268,"date":"2011-05-08T14:43:33","date_gmt":"2011-05-08T22:43:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/?p=268"},"modified":"2023-03-08T13:51:38","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T21:51:38","slug":"duranalysis-rio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/duranalysis-rio\/","title":{"rendered":"Duranalysis: Rio"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Oh, Rio, Rio, hear them shout across the land\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The video for Duran Duran\u2019s 1982 hit \u201cRio\u201d is a dazzling, much-loved spectacle that cemented the band\u2019s (hard-earned and richly-deserved) reputation as a bunch of worldly, decadent, hilariously excessive playboys. My film-school training prohibits me from counting \u201cgorgeous nitwits cavort on a yacht\u201d as a legitimate plot, so I have to dock the video points for the absence of a cohesive narrative. Still, what it lacks in plot, it makes up for in witty vignettes and vibrant images. It\u2019s a riot of colorful body paint and spilled champagne, set against blue Caribbean waters and white sandy beaches and endless violet skies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is, in short, totally awesome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the opening moments, a broken full-length mirror magically reassembles itself until it reflects the image of a leggy brunette\u2014the titular Rio, one presumes, who is played by a gorgeous model named Reema Ruspoli. This whole business with the shattered mirror is reminiscent of the opening scenes of Duran Duran\u2019s \u201cNight Boat<\/a>\u201d video, which the band shot with director Russell Mulcahy in Antigua simultaneously with \u201cRio.\u201d Of the two, my heart belongs to \u201cNight Boat\u201d (it has\u00a0zombies!<\/em>), but it\u2019s impossible to resist the joyous, multi-colored charms of \u201cRio.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While Rio sunbathes on the dock, Nick, the adorable little lech, lies on his stomach a short distance away and focuses his binoculars squarely on her ass. Nice, Nick.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Nick, Roger and John, all clad in bright designer suits, loiter on a yacht and roll little red balls around the deck. They look like a cluster of spoiled, pampered house cats, beautiful and lazy and waiting to be petted and adored.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Duran<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

On the beach, Rio strides out of the waves. She\u2019s clad in a one-piece bathing suit cut almost down to her navel, with a sheathed knife strapped to her thigh. There\u2019s every chance she\u2019s far too much woman for any of the boys to handle. Roger bravely decides to give it a shot anyway. He swaggers up and starts putting the moves on her (Roger has moves<\/em>?). Before he can get very far, a crab attacks his foot and clings to his toe, which pretty much blows his ultra-suave fa\u00e7ade to pieces.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Rio rolls her eyes, raises a shapely leg, and kicks Roger back into the water. This seems like a wild overreaction to his klutzy yet endearing attempt to pick her up, but I like her anyway. While there\u2019s never a shortage of gorgeous women in Duran Duran videos, they sometimes serve as blank slates. Rio, however, has enough vibrant personality to make her a fitting romantic interest\/adversary for the boys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The boys swarm around the deck of the yacht, which is sailing at a fast clip through the water, and sing their hearts out. It\u2019s iconic and decadent and fun. Fans of Andy had best get their fill of him here, because he\u2019s going to be MIA for most of the video, apparently by choice (quote from Andy on filming \u201cRio\u201d: \u201cThat\u2019s when I really started my video avoidance phase\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

On the beach, pretty peacock Nick preens in a mirror. Rio slinks up behind him and spies on him, probably as payback for his voyeur act in the opening. It\u2019s the strangest thing\u2014that\u2019s very obviously Nick there (flame-colored hair, check; flame-colored lipstick, check), but damned if he doesn\u2019t look a whole lot like John at certain moments in this video. I can\u2019t understand it. Apart from both being pale, pretty English boys with fabulous hair, John and Nick don\u2019t look much alike. For starters, one\u2019s a leggy beanpole, while the other\u2019s a wee, waiflike pixie.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Rio sunbathes on a raft. A pink phone on a silver tray is ferried to her across the water. On the line is a noticeably sunburned Simon, who\u2019s calling her from the nearby yacht. Like Roger before him, he attempts to sweet-talk her.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Ever capricious, Rio yanks on the phone cord and sends him tumbling into the drink. Luckily, Simon has prepared for just such an eventuality by wearing flippers. Rio, who is a cold, cruel woman at heart, laughs and laughs and laughs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, John curls up with the latest issue of Fightin\u2019 Army<\/em> comic. Can\u2019t say I\u2019ve ever pegged John as a rough-and-tumble army-comic aficionado. Still waters run deep, I suppose.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

He drifts off into a weird black-and-white military-inspired fantasy of storming the beach, rifle in hand, where he lands on the sand next to a bikini-clad Rio. Champagne spills from the heavens and fills the glass resting on her abdomen.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Magical champagne showers. I swear, this is the happiest, giddiest, silliest video in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rio tosses one of the little red balls at a Speedo-clad Simon, who scampers to the end of the dock to fetch it for her, puppy-like. He slips on a banana peel and tumbles into the water.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

When next we see Rio, she\u2019s hauling a fishing net out of the ocean. There\u2019s a Speedo-clad Duran caught in the net, and my linear brain naturally assumed this was Simon (one Speedo-clad Duran falls into the water, one Speedo-clad Duran gets yanked out of the water. Makes sense, right?). However! We have a mystery on our hands! In his memoir, Andy insists that\u00a0he\u2019s<\/em>\u00a0the Duran in the net, while\u00a0the official Duran Duran website\u00a0adamantly maintains that it\u2019s actually Roger.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s a bunch of lively nonsense with Simon drinking brightly-colored cocktails under water. A whole lot happens in this video that I\u2019m zipping past, mostly involving buckets of paint and colorful drinks and vast expanses of tanned flesh. It\u2019s all mighty entertaining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back on the yacht, Nick lounges in a cabin, toying with one of those omnipresent red balls. It takes every ounce of good taste and decorum not to make a crass joke about how he\u2019s lying on a bunk and fondling his balls.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Rio, covered in flamboyant head-to-toe body paint, creeps about the deck. She peeks in on Nick through the cabin window, which both startles and annoys him. Nick, my love, you were shamelessly ogling her ass earlier. It\u2019s only fitting she harasses you a little in turn.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Then for some reason, we spend about forty-eight minutes watching Nick and John pretending to play saxophones, which pretty much brings the video to a huge crashing halt.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Back on the yacht, someone unseen \u2014 oh, let\u2019s just say it\u2019s Simon \u2014 tries to pour a glass of champagne for Rio. He does a rotten job of it, thanks to the way the boat rocks and bobs in the waves. This is the sort of problem that keeps Duran Duran awake at night.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Rio looks exasperated and annoyed by all these repeated attempts to charm her out of her bathing suit. Guys, look, you\u2019re not getting anywhere with her. Cherry ice-cream smile or not, she\u2019s immune to all of you. It\u2019s time to cut your losses and move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, and then Simon rides a horse on the beach. Just because.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Rio slathers her entire body in pink shaving cream. In the background, one of the Durans stands in waist-deep water and adjusts his collar in a mirror. Yet again, I can\u2019t tell who it is. Andy? Nick? This is really making me doubt myself. I don\u2019t even have the excuse of a poor-resolution copy to fall back upon\u2014crystal-clear copies of \u201cRio\u201d are widely available.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Everybody cavorts on the yacht and sings some more. John and Nick are looking strangely like twins again.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Aha! We have a rare confirmed Andy sighting! John and Andy play dueling air-saxophones on the deck.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Then, as the yacht zips through the water, John cheerfully tosses Andy overboard. And no, that wasn\u2019t a planned part of the video. John just decided on the spur of the moment to try to murder one of his bandmates. You know, just as a lark. Sometimes it seems like a miracle the boys all survived the decade.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

And off they sail into the sunset, with sensible Roger at the helm and the rest of the boys still cavorting about the yacht, glamorous and gorgeous and happy.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Rio<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

A brilliant video. Nothing in there to unduly tax the brain cells, but it\u2019s sheer delightful fun. I love it to pieces.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh, Rio, Rio, hear them shout across the land\u2026 The video for Duran Duran\u2019s 1982 hit \u201cRio\u201d is a dazzling, much-loved spectacle that cemented the band\u2019s (hard-earned and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":269,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-duran-duran"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=268"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1621,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions\/1621"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/morganrichter.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}